Adventure is Out There!

It's okay to take a break, to take that 10 minute nap, or that day, or a couple. Really, it is. Because sometimes life throws your curve balls (like a hurt back). But then throw yourself back into it. Throw yourself into your own life because no one else will. It's your life. Emphasis on the YOUR. Chances are the motivation isn't there. I can't find mine more often than not these days. Without the structure of school, it's gotten harder to actually sit down at my desk, not the couch. It's gotten harder to turn off the netflix and open the 5 LB (yup..) GRE study guide. So, what then? When you've gotten your manuscript rejected, job applications turned down, even simple plans with friends cancelled. Do you even wan to follow that dream? That dream you conjured up before you graduated, that dream that you confessed to your graduating class that fateful day in December. Are you even capable? .. I answer "no" to that question sometim...

Where did the time go? That's a common question getting asked these days, days like ... Graduation. Sometimes a Monday can feel like ages, a week like eternity. And then years just zip on by without a care in the world. *** I started this post at around 6:30 a.m. Now it's 3:30 p.m. and I'm graduated. Undergraduate no more. Do I feel different? How do I feel exactly? Well, the speech is done and over. There's relief there. There's a background sense of accomplishment, completing undergrad and all. Honestly, I mostly feel humbled and loved. Those that I care about took time out of their day (some, even their work day) to come and support me. Others have messaged me or will see me later tonight. I couldn't have done ANY of this without all of you. Thank you, thank you truly. This day is as much mine as it is yours.

It's getting late. Your next day is just around the corner, quite literally a couple hours away. As you get more distracted, as you rub your tired eyes and your contacts start to ache, as you click away from filling in a study guide for the next exam, you think to yourself. The thoughts drift in and out. To far off places, to the boy a handful of miles away. To the possibilities that tomorrow holds. No, nothing spectacular is happening tomorrow. An pretty ordinary day is planned. But you have plans. Your manuscript needs to be re-written. Before that the gym. After that, an old-friend and good times. Work hard. Don't lose your focus by letting discouraging thoughts cloud your head. It's easy to let them seap in, to feel like a fake. A lazy ass, a loser. That's what you tell yourself, but those are lies. Greatness... great good that you want to do doesn't happen over night. You need to sit your butt down, stop making plans to get it done and get i...

It's the end of Summer 2016. The plane leaves at 6:05 am tomorrow morning. RMBL ("rumble") really did become a home away from home thanks to all of the inspiring friends and researchers. Science brings the absolute best people together from all around the world. The memories don't stop. I'm sitting here, thinking through my summer and it's incredible, so beautifully incredible just how good it was. Instead of typing all of those up, and boring you with the tidbits and not the juicy details, I'd rather say a "thank you." Thank you to everyone at RMBL that made Summer 2016 one for the books.

Yesterday (okay, well last saturday because you know, field work and life delays your writing). It was one of those days that was so good, so dang good that you don't want to forget it. You aren't satisfied with "oh I'll remember because, you know, we took pictures." Nope. Nope to that. This requires some writing, some thoughts on paper (or blog post). The adventure began early on a road I bike almost every day for field work. This day wasn't for field work, though. It was my day off and I was going to hike a mountain (yep, I am crazy). I live at a field station known officially as the Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory (or RMBL, pronounced "rumble," for short. On my front doorstep is Gothic Mountain, a 12,631 foot beaut. Since the field station is located in the town called Gothic, I needed to hike it. All 12,631 feet of it. With friends assembled we started the climb. Conversations drifted in and out, we soaked up the nature and then, be...

It's a sleepy, rainy day in a cloud here at RMBL. The type of day that nudges at the thoughts tucked away in the corners of your mind and prods you to write something, anything down. Breathe through your writing a little. Yet, I'm coming back to this blog post weeks later. Time escapes me when I am at a field station. It happened last summer and it's happening again. The life here, the research, the people requires my full attention. And before I know it, the summer is halfway over, I've yet to send letters to friends, and my blog post is left unfinished. That's pretty great. As absentminded and thoughtless it may come across, it means that this life, this field station life, is good. I'll be back in the real world soon. Let me just take a side step for a little while. 

No, it can't. A week? Already? Well, apparently if the calendar is still the trustworthy fellow he is, it's been a week. A week into this incredible summer, a summer spent on top of a mountain in Colorado. I've still so much to learn, so many people to meet. The potential of this summer is pretty dang incredible when I sit back and let it sink in. I'm pretty taken aback by this place. Do not get me wrong, I am still, very much still, adjusting. This past week has definitely tested the mettle of this college girl that's grown accustomed to city life. No running water, outhouses instead of bathrooms, pmsing weather, below freezing temps morning and night, and ever-taunting mice] Day 4 Day 1 But you know what, once you get past all that, once you realize those inconveniences are just that, inconveniences, life is more than alright. It's great. You look up, you soak in the fleeting sun, you try to etch the mountains into your memory, and the...

It can be easily overlooked, that tree over there, you know, the one where the sun is hitting it "just right."  There's that "warmth," that perfect contrast between light and shadow.  Behind is a light blue sky slowing fading out.  Holding a lukewarm cup of coffee,  breathing in, breathing out.  It's your choice:  let the stress sink in, think of the failure  or look at the tree and know you're okay. You're living.  Breathe in. Breathe out.  The Beatles were on to something. Let it be. 

It's in unmotivated times like this I'm somehow motivated to write here. When I say unmotivated, it's a lack of motivation for the immediate homework assignment, for that extra-credit paper that is due two days away. My head's buzzing, my fingers want to type, to create. I blame the warm weather, the warm summer weather that enticed me earlier to swing, to go out for an ice cream cone (the best, Uncle Wiggly's). Where I am right now, where a lot of my friends are right now, is on the cusp of choosing among different futures, different paths...it's pretty exhilarating if you let it sink in. You don't realize it every day. If you "future-thought" every day you'd be exhausted (more than usual). But every now and then it hits you. Like for me it's right now. And yes, it's scary. There are quite a few "I don't know"'s hanging about. I don't know where I'll be living after July 31st. I don't kn...

When you starting digging yourself a hole, phone a friend. They'll remind you that you don't need to dig that hole and lift you out.

by Ruth B. that is all.

Every now and then, I come across a blog post, an email, a speech, an article, or a video that I just need to share with anyone, everyone . The video is 22 minutes, 43 seconds. As tempting as it is to look at your phone, multi-task and open another tab, to like that picture on facebook, please just don't...for 22 minutes, 43 seconds . Let yourself be remind of what's important. Let yourself be inspired. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI

It's 2016. Well, yes, okay I know that you know that, but I'm over here still trying to wrap my head around it. It's 2016. Every year it's the same puzzlement, the same disbelief that another year has come and gone. Looking back, though, is pretty incredible. I can see the person I was a year ago and can see such a change. I have learned so much. Life is so dang rich. Yes, it's stressful, yes it's full of pain and yes it's scary as hell. You know what, though? When you step back, when you just sit for a second and look at the jumble you got, it's pretty cool that you get that you get to live. I haven't really sat down and written out any resolutions this year, but I think I'll just keep it simple. Don't forget to breathe in life and live it.

It's October 15th.  Thursday.  4:40 when I'm starting to write this. I'm drinking a dirty chai. It's a day. You know, your typical day filled with  shuttle rides, caffeine headaches,  and statistics naps. Yet.  My day was a bit brighter thanks to a best friend.  We only talked for a half hour, not even, but time doesn't have to matter.  She's one of the most empathetic friends I have.  When she looks at you, when you are rambling off your struggles, you know she cares.  And it means the world. In this fast-paced college-life, it's refreshing to sit, smile, laugh, vent about this common thing we all do called life.  I hope you have someone like that in your life. If so, find them. If not, find them.  They'll add the needed chocolate to your seemingly bland day. 

It's a cold, dreary, rainy day.  But, that's not such a bad thing, really.  Maybe waking up before the sun rises on these types of days is a bit painful, but these cold, dreary, rainy days are accompanied by genuine good. coffee shop chats soup beanies sweatpants yellow umbrellas rain drops on a windowsill puddles  rain boots tea the good stuff of life that isn't quite so good unless it has that backdrop of the usually dreaded cold, dreary, rainy day. 

I never did really blog about my summer. After making the trip home, I did try. I felt out of place, I ached for all of those I said good-bye to and I yearned to be at the place that had become my summer home. To deal with that, to express it, to find words to match, I tried to blog. The draft is still sitting in my list of posts, unpublished. Now, I'm sitting back down, typing up this blog post in a coffee shop by my apartment. My ice coffee is long gone. My waitress has long since left, I have a new one that keeps checking up on me. I'm in a good place. Not just physically (though this coffee shop is a delight) but emotionally and mentally. I love moments like this, moments you can just sit, smile, and think,"Life is good." It truly is. For those that I've connected with over coffee or over cookie dough or even those that may have seen my sporadic snap chats, you already know that this past summer for me was truly incredible. I've grown. I'm a diffe...

Sometimes, you come across the goodness of life. You pause, breathe in, and can't help but find yourself smiling. Here, living on a mountain, I'm breathing it all in, I'm living to the fullest. I can honestly say that I love it here and have been the happiest I have been in awhile. I'm running, swimming, looking at the stars, researching, learning, reading, laughing, loving, eating, It's beautiful. I'm surrounded by the most incredibly intelligent people in such an incredibly gorgeous place. I've picked the sweetest wild strawberries for goodness sakes! How can life not be good?! For the people that helped me get here thank you. Because this summer, these experiences, are the good stuff. and yes, I'm sappy. I'm well aware. But honestly, I can't help but be sappy because sappy is how I'm feeling (especially surrounded by these old library books here in the library). If life's feeling humdrum or lacking luster, go for a ru...

Sometimes the thoughts race. They rampage through your mind, refusing to stop, refusing to breathe. Questions question questions. The racetrack is an endless circle, never ending. No light at the end of the tunnel. But then you find yourself sitting there. Looking at an old fire place, framed by bookshelves of books. Old books. Books that smell of the wisdom they contain. You breathe in. breathe out. The deep bass echoing in your earphones absorbs you, encompassing you, enveloping you and pushing out those racing thoughts. You sit there. You breathe in. breath out. It's all good. Life is good.

It's been a week..a week and it feels like I've always been here, but at the same time just got here.  My typical day starts at 6:00 am, just as the sun is waking up. Dressed in all the layers and with binoculars in hand I either assist my grad student injecting females or search for nests.  These birds, dark-eyed juncos, are songbirds that nest on the ground. Yep, on the ground so they are predated a lot . This means that majority of nests fail (so sad) and we are constantly looking for more new nests or re-nests. When I found my first nest, you should have seen my face. It was the week's highlight.  That's in the morning. In the afternoon is nest checks, where we check up on nests and/or take measurements/blood samples from the nestlings/parents. These birds are so goshdarn cute. Today I held day 0 (just hatched) nestlings. Nature is incredible. Hands down. Incredible. These little guys are so dang small, so tiny. You can see their hearts beating.  ...

As I stand there, brushing me teeth, I stop. The most random thought just jumped to the forefront: "Life's really a boxing match. Life's a boxing match and I'm playing it all wrong.... Why am I throwing the punches and taking the hits? God should.  He shouldn't be on the sideline, waiting to sub in.  I take a stab at it, get overwhelmed, and then tap out.  Really, though, I should be letting him take my hits, take my punches." Weird toothbrush thoughts, right? I don't know where that came from, but it was something I had to write down, had to share (despite the already crazy number of life analogies out there).  Maybe writing it down, maybe seeing this weeks, months later will remind me that God's the best boxer there is.  I just need to trust Him.